Adventures in Jury Duty

Let me say first off ladies that although you do look super sexy all dressed up for court or whatever you're doing walking the streets of downtown... I wonder if those stilettos are REALLY the best choice for traipsing up and down the streets of Houston.  I have yet to see one single woman who doesn't look like she's cringing with EVERY step (yes, I can tell you're trying to hide it and put on your 'I wear stilettos on my morning jog' face but you're not pulling it off nearly as well as you think you are). If you absolutely MUST wear you're hooker...ahem.. I mean "fancy" shoes to walk blocks on end through the ridiculous Houston heat at least carry some flip flops. You KNOW you're gonna need them. Just sayin...

 OK... now back to my adventures in jury duty:

After braving downtown traffic and adeptly finding the correct parking garage (mostly by accident but whatev) and walking 2 blocks to the Jury Building we are greeted by a TWO BLOCK LINE! I'm not kidding... this isn't a freaking Justin Beiber concert... this is freaking JURY DUTY! TWO BLOCKS! Did I mention the line was TWO BLOCKS LONG? Well it was and I gotta say if it were raining I'm pretty sure they'd have lost this potential juror. Craziness! 

So we finally get to security where of course the barely qualified minimum wage earning security guards were enjoying what I assume is the ONE perk of the job and being terribly condescending and obnoxious to the herd of citizens thrilled to finally be in the AC. As I move up to partake in the dressing down and bare all of my possessions so that I may be allowed to perform my stupid civic duty I'm so proud cuz I'm ready... I've already removed my shoes and watch. I put my phone in the bowl and shoved my overstuffed purse through the x-ray machine... YES! I don't set off any alarms as I walk through the  metal detector! But wait.... where's my purse? That lady was definitely behind me... AH CRAP! So they have to dig now... apparently something in my purse looks like a pocket knife. OOPS! Seems as if I forgot to take my wine opener out... haha! Only me! At least I took my vibrator out! hahahahaha! JUST KIDDING FOLKS! 

Ok, so we make it down to the appropriate rooms and wait....
wait....
waiting...
waiting... 
As we wait, we can enjoy some fascinating reading on the monitor. Jury duty info... titillating.... Most of it was pretty dumb but I did find it amusing when it listed the "disqualifications"... It turns out that if you can't read or write then you can get out of jury duty. What I thought was funny, however, is that there was no audio for this. HELLO! CAN'T READ! AWESOME!

For the most part the entire thing was pretty stinking dull. Some chick started snoring... LOUD... She woke up when we all started laughing, I'm pretty sure she didn't realize why we were laughing but it was still pretty funny. Notice how low the bar on funny is? That's cuz it was BORING! I didn't even get called to go back. We just sat there for hours waiting... zzzzzzzzz

I swear next time I get a jury duty summons I'm going to INSIST on a really juicy trial! I mean Idk exactly how that works but I'm sure if I throw a big enough fit they HAVE to let me be on the jury... right?