Why the frick do men and women speak two different languages? I mean… it’s not like we are raised in different countries… we all speak “English” yet somehow we never seem to understand one another. What the hell is that exactly? Is it that we really think so differently that there is no common language to breach the barrier?
I don’t think so. I think that when it comes to relationship type stuff we are all so invested (or not) that any discussion about how the other feels is a personal attack. Even when it’s not… None of us is perfect yet we expect the other to think we are.
~How dare you complain that my laugh is obnoxious??? How do you not think I’m freaking perfect??? Shithead. ~
But in reality are we doing anyone any favors by not trying to understand how the other sees things? Shouldn’t we at least put the effort into seeing things from the other’s perspective? Sometimes we really ARE wrong. Sometimes our adorably charming laugh may sound a little like a hyena having a litter... whatev...Sometimes the person that has to deal with us the most is the first person to notice. I mean… maybe YOU think it’s delightfully cute when you fart right next to me while I’m trying to eat but I wanna puke right on your stinky ass… see… different perspectives.
Or how about when we don’t realize just how much the other person takes on themselves… Sure, there always seems to be enough toothpaste and toilet paper but just how did it get there? Fairies? NOPE… someone went to the store, bought said necessities and placed them right there within reach of the commode. Did you ever think to make sure there was enough paper to wipe your funky ass? Probably not… but someone did. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Most of us don’t really do things for the ones we love because we want a thank you note. We do it because we love the other person and we enjoy taking care of each other. RIGHT??? Ok, that being said sometimes we would still REALLY like to know that you freaking noticed.
~Gee honey, you do so much for me, can I do something to make your life easier too?~
Or…
~Sweetheart, I know you love picking up after me but would you mind if I did some things around the house too? I want to feel like I contribute something besides farting.~
OK… so maaayyybbbeee I’m being a little sarcastic (there’s a first time for everything…). I just wonder why when women say “would you mind helping out a little more” it means, “you’re a lazy piece of shit and you never do anything at all. I hate you”. I mean… I KNOW that’s not what we said and I KNOW that’s not what we meant. How did it turn into that?
Shut up… I’m telling you why!
It’s because we expect the other to think we are perfect. Apparently when we are in a relationship we all turn into saints…flawless, immaculate saints.
Of course I’m not perfect (shhhh, I really am) and it’s possible even I can be wrong. I mean there was that one time I thought I was wrong but it turned out I was mistaken… I wouldn’t really expect anyone to be so blinded by infatuation that they overlooked my flaws. That’s redonkulous! I want to be loved not only in spite of my flaws but even a little because of them. Isn’t that what we all want? For someone to see all of us? The good, the bad, the farty?
Sooooo in conclusion….
I HATE doing laundry. I want YOU to do it. I love you. The end.
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