Bring it!

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” 

Well… it’s true. There are things you never imagined you’d have to go through…. I mean… I never imagined I’d have to live through the raging shitstorm I lived for about 4 years… but I did and you know what I realized?

You keep living. 

It’s that simple. You WILL keep going. Even when you feel like you couldn’t possibly go on… you do.

Even when you feel like you really could just give up and die right where you are… you don’t.

When you’ve had your guts ripped right out of your body, when you’re just sitting there wondering how it’s even possible to feel as awful as you do you somehow find a way to pick up your guts and push them back in… You hold them in no matter how badly it hurts. You find the strength to take that first step… even though it hurts like hell. You WILL move slowly. Every step WILL be excruciating but you keep taking them. There will be days that you can’t move at all…that’s ok. There will be a day that you take a step backwards…that’s ok. You just keep going. You hold your insides in and you just keep going.

Then suddenly you realize it doesn’t hurt as badly as it used to. You look down and see your wounds have almost healed. You turn around and realize how far you’ve managed to make it… You did it. There will be other hurts. Other people will come into your life and open the wounds you worked so hard to close but that’s ok. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve already been through. You push your guts back in again and just...keep…moving.

The scars won’t ever go away. That’s ok. It’s a battle wound. You can be proud of that scar. It made you the person you are. It might even hurt a little for a long time…that’s ok… It’s there to remind you of where you’ve been…and what you survived. 

Sometimes I stop and really think about how much I’ve been through and how I NEVER imagined I’d be fully intact on the other side… but I am. I’m even better off. It’s definitely not how I imagined my life at this point but HOLY CRAP! I made it! 

Some days I need to remind myself of that… Look what I’ve already survived… this is cake. I can do this. Bring it!