So here's my new theory: Not everyone gets to be happy.
What? You thought I had some heartwarming bullcrap to throw at you? Yeah... no.
If there's anything I've learned so far is that some people don't have the first freaking clue how to be happy. We all know someone who talks about how they want this and that or ~what the hell ever~ yet they continually do things that GUARANDAMNTEE they aren't going to get those things. Hell, I've even been guilty of it a time or two (whatever... you know I'm freaking perfect and shit).
Sometimes we get caught up trying to get the thing we THINK will make us happy if only....
If only we could change, or we could get them to change, or everyone else would change...
Maybe that change is attainable.
Probably not.
I mean.... everyone else changing sure as fuck isn't going to happen. Let's be real. People are people and your stupid happiness isn't gonna matter to anyone but you. Deal with it.
Maybe that person (or thing...whatev...we all know I'm talking about people here) can change. I mean maybe they'll see a burning bush or some shit and all of a sudden be all that they can freaking be and crap.
No they're not. Stop expecting them to.
If a person sucks for an extended period of time, they didn't just have a bad childhood. They suck.
If a person treats you like crap, they aren't scared of their feelings. They suck.
What's even worse is all those people who you think you can change not only won't ever change but they WILL drag you down with them. They will suck out every ounce of happiness you manage to find. They don't know how to be happy. Some people will always treat others like shit. They will always be on the lookout for the next person to rob happiness from...because for a brief moment they have happiness... cuz they just stole it from you. It's the only way they know how to be happy.
This brings me to the one and only thing we do have control over. Ourselves. I don't know about everyone else but I want to be happy. I may change (I mean I can't imagine why since I'm soooo awesome...) but I won't do it for anyone else. Maybe I need to be better at being happy... I'm still learning but I know where I won't find it. I've finally learned that every second of my own happiness I sacrifice trying to show someone else how to be happy is one second I've totally wasted. I refuse to be one of those people that never gets to be happy. I really think that there are people who will NEVER figure it out. I kinda feel sorry for them but sure as fuck not enough to be unhappy with them.
So I choose to be happy. I will treat people in a way that I can be proud of (unless they are fucktards then I might be just a little mean...). I will try every day to be just a little better than I was yesterday. I will cry when it hurts but then I will get my shit together and move the fuck on. I will only dedicate time and energy into the people that deserve it and return the sentiment. I WILL be happy.
As a side note, I may be looking into adopting a crapton of cats if this whole happiness crap doesn't work out... JK!
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