A watched pot will never boil.... This is true... I watched it forEVER and it just wouldn't boil. I finally gave up and just turned the burner on.
Any UNpotty trained kid I misguidedly agree to baby sit will immediately take a man sized dump in his or her drawers.
Any potty trained kid I misguidedly agree to baby sit will immediately take a man sized dump in his or her drawers also.
The second I doze off for a much anticipated nap EVERYONE I know will decide that they absolutely MUST speak to me right this second.
I will wash my debit card every time I go out drinking... EVERYTIME!
I can type flawlessly until someone is standing behind me watching me type and suddenly its like I'm typing with my toes.
The only time I'll be invited to something really cool will be the weekend I have my kid with no babysitters to be found.
I will spend 95% of my kid free weekend laying around doing nada.
AND FINALLY it doesn't matter how much weight I lose or how long I keep it off I WILL gain every pound back 2 months before my class reunion.
No comments:
Post a Comment