Load your shit up on the luggage rack

To all those single men in my general age range (although I'm sure this could be applied on a broader scale I can only speak from my experience). Heartbreak sucks. Someone screwed you over and yeah... it blows... NEWS FLASH... It sucks for chicks too! I'm sorry that things didn't turn out like you planned. I'm sorry that you were hurt. Been there... done that... but it wasn't me. It is not the job of single women to put up with copious amounts of your bullshit while you "figure yourself out" or while you tiptoe around a relationship. Either you're in it or you're not. I have my own baggage to tote around and I have no intention of dragging yours around too. You can walk beside me and we can carry ours together but if you can't carry your own well, I can't help you. Now before anyone gets their panties in a wad, this is NOT directed at any one person. It is a general observation of grown ass single men in general. Now I still love me some men and I'm not hating on anyone.... I still like you and all I just want you boys to know that the luggage rack is over there... load your shit up on it if you need to but I won't be carrying it for you.


I wrote this a while back but I felt like it was missing something... it was. Here is the addendum. 
 
To all those single ladies out there, if a man is telling you he's not ready don't get the crazy idea that for you he will suddenly BE ready. He just told you he's not. You can't get upset when whatever the two of you had going hits a wall. It was inevitable. You can't force someone to be over heartbreak. Stop trying to carry his luggage "just for a little while". Why do we always want to take in the little bird with the broken wing? There is a process to healing and it's not fair to either one of you to take on other peoples luggage when yours is already so heavy. You'll just end up falling all over the place and looking like an idiot. Sometimes men don't come right out and tell you they're still a hot mess but there are always signs and yeah...it kinda sucks to have to constantly be looking for "signs" but unless you enjoy getting your heart hurt then you better get good at it. I really think when the time is right you will find someone who's luggage is as manageable as your own and together you can traverse your adventures together.

Til death do us part

I wonder what makes some relationships last and others fall apart... I wonder what the key is. I've witnessed couples I would have bet money wouldn't last a year stay together for years and years and some I never thought would end fall apart. So what's the difference? I have a theory... write this down because clearly I'm an expert on this....


I don't think its "love". Lots of couples "love" each other. Love is a living thing and it changes. It may start as passionate and intense but will hopefully evolve into mutual respect and even a comfortableness<< (yeah... I make up words). You can "love" someone and want to punch them. Every relationship will go through rough times. Sometimes you just won't like each other very much but you can still love each other.


I don't think it's "friendship" either. Friendship I think is a VERY important ingredient in a lasting relationship but it can also evolve and doesn't have the power to keep two people together.


It's not sex either cuz let's be realistic... that will waiver too. Kids, jobs, responsibilities and American Idol will start taking up some of the time that used to be filled with passionate sessions.


I think the key is to have all of those things but MOST importantly a commitment. Not the "well I promise for right now" kind. The "when I say til death do us part I mean I'll kill you first". Of course I'm not really advocating murder but I think if you can find a friend that you love and want to spend your life with they also have to agree that this commitment is real. Sometimes the commitment will be the only thing that pulls you through. Relationships are hard and there will be times when it may seem much easier to just give up if the "commitment" isn't there. I think that years down the road the fact that the two of you have made it will be so much sweeter because of the hard times you survived. If you can find someone that has the same concept of forever then just maybe you have a chance.


Well I hope everyone is paying attention cuz if there's one thing I've proven it's that I know how to stay married...

Anyone know where to find a really good couch?

So it's almost Valentines Day... whoo hoo... BUT I think it's a good time to evaluate.


Yup... still single.


I did however receive a sweet card from my favorite guy so all in all not too awful but where am I in general?


I think that we (single people) don't really see our lives as complete until we find someone to share it with. I want someone to share my life with but my life is still the only one I have whether I've found the last piece or not. It's like a couch...


Say you buy a house... YAY! I bought a house..but oh wait... I don't have a couch. I don't want just any couch, I want THE perfect couch. Well what do I do with the rest of my stuff until I find my couch? I won't worry about that, I'll just leave it wherever and once I get the couch I can arrange it around my perfect couch...


But that's no good. You have to keep living your life regardless of the couch situation. There is no telling how long it'll take to find the couch and you can't keep living in limbo until it arrives. I think I've done that and I don't think I'm the only one. I didn't even realize that's what I was doing but I sure don't have a couch and my stuff is kinda just lying around wherever it landed. I'm not some sad sack living with boxes where tables should be but I do need to recognize when I'm putting "my real life" on hold instead of living it to the fullest. So the plan is to make this life as fabulous as possible and whenever I finally find my perfect couch I'll know exactly what kind will fit the best.


I'm not creating my life around the couch... the couch will have to fit into my creation.

Things I've learned

A watched pot will never boil.... This is true... I watched it forEVER and it just wouldn't boil. I finally gave up and just turned the burner on.
Any UNpotty trained kid I misguidedly agree to baby sit will immediately take a man sized dump in his or her drawers.
Any potty trained kid I misguidedly agree to baby sit will immediately take a man sized dump in his or her drawers also.
The second I doze off for a much anticipated nap EVERYONE I know will decide that they absolutely MUST speak to me right this second.
I will wash my debit card every time I go out drinking... EVERYTIME!
I can type flawlessly until someone is standing behind me watching me type and suddenly its like I'm typing with my toes.
The only time I'll be invited to something really cool will be the weekend I have my kid with no babysitters to be found.
I will spend 95% of my kid free weekend laying around doing nada.
AND FINALLY it doesn't matter how much weight I lose or how long I keep it off I WILL gain every pound back 2 months before my class reunion.

Valentines Day... the root of all evil.

Being alone on Christmas... $200 saved since I don't have to buy that extra gift.
Being alone on New Years...$100 I get to spend food and drinks just for myself.
Being alone on Valentines Day... PRICELESS!
There is no more loathed holiday for single people than the cursed Valentines Day. Oooohhh... look at that nauseating commercial, look at that cheesy card, look at that annoying couple... YEAH I'm not bitter! Really though... I need to get DVR simply so I can filter stupid ass Valentines Day commercials! Like constantly being reminded I don't have a valentine isn't going to make me pelt couples with chocolates... Can we PLEASE just skip ahead to February 15th? At the very least we should have a SHUTTHECRAPUPABOUTLOVE holiday. I really don't think I'm being unreasonable... Anyway, I hope everyone gets something sweet for Valentines Day and crap and I'll try REALLY hard not to steal your candy and fill it with ex-lax.

Well here goes...

I guess I'll start with my motivation for this blog. I tend to over-think and well... possibly I'm not the Lone Ranger in that department so just maybe I can relate some of the crazy I have dancing around in my head and it'll speak to someone else (or just incite some laughter).
I can tell you for sure that I didn't anticipate being a single mom at this stage in my life. I figured I'd be a slightly frumpy *insert kid sport here* mom. Well, that sure isn't where I am (I won't dwell on the frumpy part and I'd appreciate if no one else did either...ahem). Being single certainly has some nice aspects but I can't help but miss the companionship and having someone to lean on when things are tough. I am learning to appreciate my friends and family more than I ever really have before; there are some people I just don't think I'd have gotten this far without. I've also come to realize this unexpected U-turn in my life has given me the opportunity to try and figure out who I really am and what I want in someone else. Notice how I threw in "try"? Cuz I must say I'm still pretty clueless but I'm "trying".

I can be obnoxios, I can be raunchy but I can be intense and insightful too. I hope I have something interesting to say, I hope that someone else gets something from me expressing my thoughts but I really just want to get it out.

P.S. I hate commas and all those other silly little grammatical whatchamabobs so I have decided at this point in my life I will use them when, how and IF I see fit so please don't bother correcting my comma-splices cuz commas are dumb. Just sayin... 

P.S.S. I won't be citing any sources either so SUCK IT MLA!